Sunday, March 16, 2008

My first HIV test

So I went for my first HIV test the other day, following on the heels of my first ever wisdom tooth extraction (or what was SUPPOSED to be my first..). This (HIV test) is something I've wanted to do since I started having sex and really since I was 21. This and cancer checks.. but yea, so I finally went to do one.
Went to Queens Park West to get it done and had a family member who had been there as well take me. So got there, got in really quickly, they took my info down and I had to wait a little while before they could take the blood. Got called about 10-15 mins later and had to go talk to a doctor/counsellor first so she could assess my risk factor and whatnot. I really, really enjoyed this talk. It was informative, casual, comfortable and she laughed at my jokes :P she seemed like a really lovely, easy-going person and made the questions seem less edgy and personal lol. So that lasted for about 10 mins then I went to actually have my blood taken.. this is where the fun happened.

This was my first time of my adult life(memory) that I had a needle in my arm for longer than it took to give an injection. So I told myself that I had to look at it happen, needed to see it happening for myself. The problem was that I thought it'd just be *stick needle in, pull up plunger, nice, free flowing blood quickly fills vial and done*. Ohhh no my friends, this was not to be the case;

the nurse cleaned the spot and stuck the needle in. This itself wasn't really painful, more just awkward. The unnerving part was that I didn't see her unwrap the needle that she used - instead I saw her take the whole assembly - needle + plunger part thing out from wherever and stick it in my arm. So I was a little nervous about this.. then things got really interesting.

So apparently I either have really oxygenated blood or the nurse just wanted to fuck around.. cus an air bubble soon came up into the vial.. prompting ms. nurse to push the plunger back down, forcing the flow of blood in my vein to reverse. Which btw, I could feel as plain as day. I felt the blood literally changing course in my vein.. this went a little beyond 'awkward'.. maybe 'unnatural' is the word I'd use. So the nurse doesn't only proceed to do this once, but does it probably another four or FIVE times. All I could think while she's pushing the blood back into my vein is this "FK! FK! The needle have aids on it!! SHE GIVING ME AIDS! I GETTING AIDSS!! OH G*D!! OH G*D!!" - so yes, perhaps I was a little delirious.

By the third time I started to get dizzy and faint. Did I mention that I didn't have any breakfast? well I didn't. Not one ass to eat that morning. So there I am starting to see spots and stars and fuzziness so I say, as best I could, to Ms. Nurse "umm.. I should probably say that I'm feeling a bit faint" and no sooner had I said this than my vision promptly disappeared and all I can think of is me passing out either in that room or outside in the waiting area and looking like the jackass noob who couldn't handle drawing blood..

So I alert Ms. Nurse to my current physiological situation to which she says "hold on, hold on" while still fucking pulling and pushing the blasted plunger in my vein. So I finally look away to the left, as I figured I couldn't see shit anyway and soon after I felt the needle gloriously be removed from my vein. A plaster was applied to stop any bleeding.. however no bleeding occurred.. perhaps because Ms. Nurse sent so much blood back the wrong way in my vein that it would be a while til the poor, traumatised blood vessels could work the courage up to venture past the spot where the needle was.

The doctor-counsellor I had before came right when Ms. Nurse was finished and saw my condition and asked if I were ok. All I could mumble to her was the word "faint". She said she'd get me some water and left to do so. While she was gone, Ms. Nurse is busy trying to push some alcohol soaked cloth up under my nose.. which wasn't making me better or worse, so I just pushed it away and said I'd be cool. Which I actually was very soon after. By the time doctor-counsellor came back with the water I could see and could stand etc. She said I looked as white as a ghost, I told her I was as white as a ghost before, she laughed and said I looked even whiter.. so I got up, threw the paper cup away and was finished with my first HIV test-giving blood scenario. Have to go back in a few weeks to collect results - wish me luck!