Saturday, October 27, 2007

A little personal privacy please?

These thoughts of mine might change when I'm actually a parent with children of my own. As for the time being though, they are what they are.

I think there should be some degree of privacy that exists between parents and their children (children from here on out refers to 14+). I think once you've raised your child properly, in an open household, without keeping secrets from them yourself, things should be okay to allow them a little bit of privacy in their lives if they want it. Of course no one is going to follow this and checks WILL be made, as discreetly as possible if need be, as to whether they are getting up to stuff that goes against your moral teachings. Please don't let them catch you in the act of checking up on them. It can really, really kill relations and any potential for better relations. It also stays with the child unless properly dealt with (which, let's face it, probably won't happen in today's and tomorrow's societies). If you keep secrets from your child don't expect them to be all fine and dandy with divulging everything to you. Especially when they can pretty accurately assume where you stand on certain things that they're doing. Perhaps they'd LIKE to talk to you about their thoughts on them using protection during sex but they know you'll probably just break down and cry if you found out they weren't your little angelic virgin anymore and totally overlook the fact that you're being safe and responsible.
or perhaps they'd like to tell you about that party when they got drunk and started chewing on people's clothes (I'd say this never happened to me, but then you'd think that the rest of the story has.. which I'm neither admitting to nor refuting) but know that you don't even think they like alcohol.

So I guess it actually depends on how you run your house. One secret kept by you and sniffed at by your child can become the groundwork for a closed-off child with secrets of their own. I am in no way advocating this. I am saying that if the child would like, and even if they are cool with being open, they should be given some privacy, if just a little. If the child WOULD like some privacy, I'd suggest trying to talk to them about the things you worry for them getting into.. drugs, sex, alcoholism, gangs, scientology, whatever.. and see where they stand. Yes they could be lying to you but you should not be naive enough to accept 'oh goosh mommy no! I doh do that! *averts eyes and quickly changes topic*' as a proper answer. And please don't nag at them, this will not end in any way that you hope it will. Unless you're hoping it will end badly. In which case you're unfit to parent anything and should be shot.

Sorry if this is all jumbled thoughts, I just woke up and I need to go back to sleep but had to get this out.

Criminally Insane

I was having a talk with a fellow trini about her experiences with crime. She's been held up and robbed 4 times (so far), with a couple of them being pretty violent. She isn't the only person I know who has been the victim of such serious crime. I have known two young people, younger than I, who have been murdered brutally. I have a friend who was kidnapped and beaten, had his car stolen and used in a shooting and was left, tied up and half-naked in a cane field. I have had friends held up at knife point, gun point, rock point, big piece of iron point. Friends' cars robbed and broken into, stolen and vandalized.

I myself, though I seem to forget quite easily sometimes, have been the victim of crime as well, albeit not of such a up-close and personal nature as my unfortunate friends have been. I've had my beloved 626 stolen, but by the grace of God (and I do mean that literally) I got it back. I've had jewellery that I treasured dearly stolen from me. I've had my car broken into, though again, by the grace of God, the window that they broke in fell on top of my cd case and they didn't see it and stole instead my then-gf's things. That's about the extent of my dealings with crime.

Now, I KNOW that in these times I am extremely, extremely fortunate not to have been the victim of violent or 'personal' crime. I'm also aware that I ain't dead yet, so I have some time left in which this could happen. However, I don't only attribute my fortune to a higher being alone. I'd also like to believe that the way I am - my behaviour, my habits, my thinking - has kept me out of situations such as these. It was this train of thought that led to me wanting to pinpoint what exactly I do, on a daily basis, that keeps me out of that much danger;

for one, I haven't traveled since I was 17. Yes, I know there are many, many, maannnyy people who are not as lucky and privileged as I to have their own car or to be able to get a private drop to and from. I'm just saying.. this has greatly helped keep me away from crime as I haven't been exposed to the general public, even when I'm going to town/arima/couva/chaguanas/st. augustine etc.

driving in traffic: while driving all my friends know I generally dislike using the a/c (to save gas), so my windows are always down. However at every light I always turn up all the windows and switch the a/c on (if need be) for those few mins I'm at a stand still. Also in traffic, depending on the rate of traffic I'll do the same. Especially on places like the Beetham, El Socorro, Aranguez etc.

if I'm going through a drivethru (kfc) I put my window back up when I'm done ordering. I also try not to text or use my phone while I'm in the line.

When walking through a car park I have my keys in my hand before I reach my car. Perhaps this is a mistake but my thinking is this: I can trigger my alarm if I need to create either a distraction or to draw attention to myself. I can also, if the situation arises, use the metal end of the key as a weapon at (very) close range. Having the key in my hand while I'm walking also saves time digging in my pocket for it when I finally do get to my car.

While walking through a car park, if I am alone I also try not to use my phone, especially to text (as hard as this is to believe) as again, it 1) draws attention to you and 2) distracts you from your surroundings. I try to be aware of my surroundings at all times, especially in car parks and similar areas.

If I'm walking down a street texting is again a no-no unless it's a familiar street (residential areas apply only.. so this is basically valsayn) and awareness is at a max. This goes for when I'm walking anywhere at all actually. I occasionally glance behind me or look down to check for any shadows that may be following me. I also try to keep an ear out for any suspicious sounds such as someone running, trying to keep in time with me and the like.

This should be obvious to everyone but I'll include it anyway. I try to stay out of known dangerous areas. Morvant, Lavantille, East Belmont, certain areas of St. Augustine etc I have little to no knowledge of. I like my car bullet-hole free. When my 626 was stolen, it was actually parked up the hill from a seedy area.

When driving home late at night, I am supposed to take a different route every once in a while but I generally don't cus I'm pretty tired after liming. I always watch behind me to see if I'm being followed though. No matter how sleepy I am I always do this. When I get to my gate, which is remote controlled (compound) I click the remote from as far away as I can and then I am always watching around for cars and people.

When I get to my door, which is on the side of the building, with the back and the side of the compound right there, I peep my head around the corner to scope out the surrounding area. Even when there isn't anyone there, I always open my door quickly and engage the lock before the door is even closed, in case I am rushed and have to slam the door quickly.

When I go to fetes, I wear jeans that have special secret pockets sewn into the seam of the legs. (I buy the jeans like this) so I put my money there and have my ID and bank card in my wallet if I need to have the wallet. In crowds, I also occasionally pat my back pocket to make sure my wallet is there. Not too much though, otherwise I run the risk of drawing attention to where my wallet pocket is. I generally try to check when my back is being blocked by someone whom I think I can trust. If the crowd is especially thick, such as Woodford Tuesdays sometimes, I put my wallet in my front pocket. I also try, though unsuccessfully sometimes, to be as quick as possible when putting change back into my wallet. If i know I can't be quick I'll just put the change into my pocket.

I don't wear jewellery. At all. Not even a watch. (though the lack of a watch is more due to the band bursting than anything else.) I DO have jewellery, but I don't like the attention it can bring, so i save it for special occasions (when I don't think I'll be highly at risk to be robbed) I also don't dress flashy, with the latest designer shoes and shirts/pants etc. I look good without having to scream 'this man's got money!' (which I wish I actually did)

and lastly(because sleep taking meh and ah cah remember anymore right now) I am paranoid. I don't think it's to an unhealthy extent, but it keeps me wary and alert. I play out different scenarios of how a crime could play off in my surroundings and try to figure out ways to effectively deal with it. I figure I haven't been seriously involved in a crime yet, so it must be coming sometime.. I'd just like to either be able to avoid it if it does try to happen or be able to deal with it properly if it does happen.

i tellin allyuh now tho, if a man try to fuck with me and all he have is a knife I gettin stab, cus I not losing my shit when he doh even have enough connections to get a gun, sorry. I will take meh stab but I making sure to slit his throat with his own knife.

or I'll just be my usual calm, collected self and talk to him, try to make a joke or two and be helpful and accommodating. Would you like some tea or coffee with my money, sir?

Don't you just love single-minded political party die-hards?

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=20244825352&ref=nf

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1509915&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=20244825352&aid=-1&id=648415433&oid=20244825352


I've realised that nothing turns me off a girl quicker than seeing she's a sheep for a political party, even the one I may be supporting (if there is a time when that happens)

Friday, October 26, 2007

Things that annoy me

because it had to come..


Politcal party die-hards and the mis-guided youth who view it either as a fad or something they MUST support. Related to this: die-heard supporters who only know what they're told and those who quote facts and figures and put downs without doing much of their own research.

Someone calling someone else's name repeatedly for a considerable (use your intelligence) amount of time. E.g. My dad calling my sister over and over for 2 mins without actually getting up to see where she was, i.e. to see if walking around might then put her within earshot.

Being set up inconsiderately. I don't mind being 'set-up' because your mom is sick or you have something important. But when I show up at whatever location, expecting you to be there, then call you to find out you actually just left to go home, when it was communicated clearly that I was coming to meet you, I get pretty annoyed.

People who smell when they have no reason to

Prima donnas

People with more attitude than I have.

People who talk and all you can think to yourself is that they're acting this way on purpose i.e. to come across as 'cool' or 'funny' or 'hyper' or 'badass' etc

Sheep mentality and behaviour.. along the lines of fashion, fads, trends and general thinking without questioning.

Converse sneakers and apparel: really, what is the big f'in deal?

Football teams that knock around the ball in their own half when they're ahead and it's the 85th minute

Football teams who lack any sense of style and flair i.e. most english teams (except liverpool, who don't even have that much anyway)

Basketball sneakers

Pseudo hip-hop culture

Having someone/people push me to do something that I pretty much don't want to do (and I mean this in a social sense, not in any really important way such as education or making something of myself)

Much of the local rock community and related persons

Tribute bands

'emo' music and culture

Kanye West

People who try to oppose their ideals and thinking on everyone else

the Catholic church

any horror made after 1998

the French football team (though they're one of my favourites)

the Portugese football team (likewise)

my procrastination

my procrastination (yes, I meant to repeat myself)

when i run out of clean clothes/blank cds/ juice/ snacks

the period after checking facebook and islandnoise when nothing new happens and I then have nothing to do with my pc time (which is any time I am home really)

getting psyched up to see a movie and then it being total shit

most, if not all, of recent rap music

people who are uneducated on whatever topic who have no reason to be so

people who don't even know there's a rift between the TTFA and our national football team.

the TTFA.

and because this is getting so long I'll finish up with one of the most annoying things to me..

people who mis-use 'you're' and 'your'



p.s. your all.. shit, i'll finish this later; gonna go listen to that new Kanye West tribute band.

I stand, sadly corrected.

just wanted to put this in quick, quick. It's a response I made to a friend's facebook note 'http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=5513343549&ref=mf' which can also be found on her lovely blog 'http://tahitian-sky.blogspot.com/2007/10/new-generation.html'


"the report on how my brethren and sistren are responding to the political parties is saddening news to me.

I was in UWI today and outside rituals was a mess of people. One half wearing the orange of UNC and the other the white of COP. And yet they were all getting along and laughing and drinking and knocking cards together. Funny what can bring people together.
it just seemed to me like this was just another fad, another trend.. the IN thing to be doing at this point in time. I voting COP cus they cool and new and fresh. Winston Dookeran who?

and then there's the traditional:
"well my pops an dem always votin UNC and thaz how I raised so that's what I will be doing too!"
"wha? NOT vote PNM? you want my mudda to kill me or what?"


I always try to give people so much benefit of the doubt but I can't make excuses for the shit that I've been seeing. COP and UNC would do so well if even half of these jersey wearers were to actually vote (which I have my doubts on). But then again, perhaps staining yuh index finger red on November 5th will be the next IN thing. If only COP and UNC were that lucky. I suppose it's another cool thing to be fed up of Patrick Manning and his shit.. although if it weren't for Patos the rituals crew would have been too busy trying to figure out how to pay for their tertiary education instead of what size COP jersey fits them best.. because the large feels quite comfortable but the medium is form-fitting.

it's sad really.


Join the revolution indeed.




-thanks to Azaria for showing me I wasn't alone in my thinking and also for giving me a little more understanding of what is really going on in UWI.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

More elections crap

sorry, but it seems everywhere I turn or listen there's something else that annoys me. Today something actually disgusted me to the point where I almost turned off the radio completely. That thing was the UNC's latest jingle - a remix of the Richie Spice hit 'World is a Cycle', which includes the lyrics 'UNC do right do right do right.. Jack Warner do good do good do good..' it actually made me appreciate Orange Sky and Nigel's jingle etc.

At least Sky knows about the political situation in the country and want a change for their fellowmen! At least Nigel is concerned about his country and is informed. Who the hell is Richie Spice to Trinidad and Tobago?! I cannot BELIEVE that the UNC would do that. And then up next is the PNM with sizzla?! WHATTHEMUDDAC**T!?!? they're taking two of the best reggae/conscious artistes and using them to appeal to the 18-25 age group of voters! This is beyond me. I was utterly disgusted by both hearing the UNC song and by the news of Sizzla and the PNM.

Let's just throw facts and issues out the window. The youths don't care about that. They want to party and have fun, so let's use conscious artistes from a totally different country who know nothing about our politics instead! yeaaa! that's a good idea! I have yet to hear what my fellow 18-25yr olds think about this turn of events but the ones I do know are more informed of the facts and political climate than the UNC and PNM apparently think they are. The ones I do know will look past this completely obvious ploy and see the real truths that exist.

it's just.. wow.. I think that was a new standard of unbelievable there. It's one thing to use local artistes to do your stuff but to use foreigners!? What next? Junior Gong for COP? Beres Hammond promote unity with the UNC? Justin Timberlake bringing sexy PNM back!? it's just fucking ridiculous and sickening and I hope it will ultimately be pointless and costly to these parties.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Elecrionsengineering

Just a little bit to add on to the previous elections post.

Another thing I hate about how elections is run in my beloved country of Trinidad and Tobago: each constituency has its own assortment of party representatives running against each other. People in each constituency, e.g. Chaguanas East, are SUPPOSED to vote for the representative whom they think best supports them and their issues. Therefore they aren't actually voting for who they want to win the total election but rather who they want working in their area.

Now I'm not knocking this at all, especially in rural and poorly attended to areas where a lot of work is needed. You have to be look out for yourselves in this situation. However, the possibility arises of your constituent being a good person but the party head (the now Prime Minister) is a fucking corrupted crook.
OR
where you doh care about who your constituent is and you vote for the party you want to win elections. Which can result in the party head of your choice becoming Prime Minister but you end up getting stuck with a corrupt constituent that likes to fondle little boys and doesn't care one shit about the issues of the area (which, albeit a little enhanced, is generally what might happen in this country)

I wish we could just vote for the people who have shown or show the capacity to handle our issues in an efficient, compassionate manner, regardless of constituent or party head. Of course this will never happen. There's theoretical democracy and real world democracy; two drastically differing versions.

"Join the revolution, VOTE FOR COP" - what revolution might this be? cus I'm seeing the same thing happening that's happened time and time before, apart from the same old two parties.

UNC Alliance! stop dividing votes! - why? as free people we have the right to vote for who we choose. The UNC and many of their supporters like to think and would willingly let you know, that they are about unity and strength in numbers. This is bullshit. the UNC-A is a joke. They are trying to pass off anxiety and desperation as an effort for unity. If you were actually handling yuh business, yuh wouldn't need to form any alliance.

PNM - what can I say that hasn't been said many times already? nothing. But still.. a weak man has tasted too potent a power and it has warped his mind and thinking. When you look at Mr. Manning's actions through this perspective a lot of things come to make sense. He can't help it.. and we've been hearing so much that mental illness is increasingly becoming a big problem in this country.

so am I voting? no. But not for a lack of wanting to, I just don't have things in place to be eligible. If I were voting, who would I vote for? no one, I'd smear the ballot, I just like how my finger looks in red.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The little(big) things that I enjoy

In def. no particular order, I give you:


People who I know to be in long-term relationships not having their status as 'engaged' or 'married' on facebook.

Having gas in my tank

clean clothes (recently washed)

maintaining friendships with people when I don't feel like the onus is on me to maintain them.

hearing the song that I'm feeling to listen to at that same moment.

actually getting the song I have stuck in my head so I can hear it for real.

cookies in the red box stored in the fridge.

those rare moments of peace and simplicity.

having an assortment of nice shirts to wear.

knowing that I'm looking good.

knowing that the people whose opinions matter to me think that I look good.

playing football.

finding time to practice my drumming/guitar playing (which sadly I haven't in a good while)

winning big in poker.

liming with friends without any bullshit present under the surface (can't remember the last time this has happened)

meeting new people whose company I enjoy and vice versa

sleeping with the knowledge that I don't have to wake up early the next day.

no traffic on the road.

getting through with what I have to relatively quickly and without stress.

Bake and Buljol on sunday mornings.

planning things and actually having them work out nicely.

murphy's law avoiding me.

throwing parties.

losing myself in music. (especially Jazz)

applying psychology to life.

writing music.

getting the things I want out of life.

writing.

getting new music, especially good music which I've never heard.

spending any amount of time with certain people.

driving.

being driven.

reading good books.

european films, apparently.

not owing any debts.

women. (hahaha ouuuu)

Her touch
Her feel
Her cotton
Her fabric of my life.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Elections time again

this should be interesting. I'm really anticipating this year's elections on November 5th. Not because I'm gung-ho for the democratic process or because I'm fully in support for a particular party but rather I'm really anxious as to who will win.

There's the PNM who is currently in power and whose leader the (dis)Honorable Patrick Manning is threating to turn my beloved T&T into a dictatorshit, then there's the UNC with former Prime Minister Basdeo Panday, whose right hand man Jack take-as-much-as-I-can-from-who-I-can Warner is in a very real position to become the next PM, then there's the Winston Dookeran-led COP.

Now if I were voting (i'd like to but I have no national ID) it'd be for COP. I openly say this. Why? because I am fucking packing up my shit, jumping on the first flight I can get to anywheresville and starting a new life if Jack Warner and the UNC wins. I also don't want another 5 years of Mr. Manning and Ms. Breakfastses. However, I'm not so sure that Winston Dookeran has what it takes to run a country. I'm willing to live with his learning mistakes though, rather than under Jackie or Pattie's rules.

this being said, I'm not an avid followerd of politics in this country. I know what I know and from what I care to read in the (biased) papers. I know enough of the individuals themselves and how the operate however (minus Dookeran) to know whether they'd bring a positive change or a negative change to this country. I tellin allyuh from now tho, if Mr. Warner becomes PM I getting myself a high-powered rifle and learning to sharpshoot, cus I really doh want to migrate.

p.s. my real views on Orange Sky and them being the UNC: whatever yes, is their lives and fire to catch. I just hate the fact they working with and supporting jack warner. Other than this.. do whatever allyuh want boys, make that papes, move that hustle, do what yuh have to do LIVE YOUR LIFFFFEEE (lmao!)

Working not-so-Stiff

so I've gotten a job. La-di-da. That's the reason I haven't updated here in a while (apologies to those who actually bother to check this blog). I'm now employed by an event planning and management company called A&A Productions. There's also another related company called A&A Entertainment. Correctly speaking I work for the guy who owns these companies (cus there's also an advertising company as well) and hence I work for all these companies. I'm basically his right hand man. Three years and a Special in Psychology for this.. you never know where life takes you.

Now I don't consider this in any way a long-term job. I'm doing it for the short-medium term and the guy is a friend and needs the help so I'm there for him. I'm actually enjoying it though. The job is REALLY flexible and I have so much more freedom than I would with any other job. I can wear jeans to work if I want, sleep on a couch in the office, get to work late (though I feel badly when I do and try not to) and I get to go to bars, lounges, clubs, social gatherings etc to do site visits, quotes, decor set-ups and promotions. Went back to UWI today to promote a party we have coming up.. was pretty cool.

It's not paying as much as I'd like, and my mom is definitely a little dissatisfied with the pay as well, but I weigh the pay along with the freedoms I have when I'm comparing to other jobs. I mean I have a phone bill to pay, along with various other expenses, but they're all pretty much minor. I not mining no child, I doh have insurance or the like to pay, so I'm pretty much cool. Net and phone bill and that's about it, so the pay isn't SO bad. It's also turning out to be a gateway to other professions that I enjoy, such as journalism, editing, graphic design and radio work (I might actually get my own radio show, along with Ethan, the owner of the company.. more on that later if I actually get it)

so yea, the job is cool. Don't have much else to say about it right now so I'll tune out there.. apologies for the slipping into and out of trini dialect.

You, Me and everyone else NOT in the relationship.

Disclaimer(of sorts): I definitely have my more than fair share of bullshit when it comes to relationships. Make no mistake, I know I am no saint and am far from the perfect current or ex-boyfriend. Thus I write this as a fellow mistake-maker and person with many faults, however I write about what irritates me and this is one of those things.

It's one thing to argue with me about the faults you find in me and what you think I'm stupid for or the dumb things I do. It's another thing, however, to say 'everyone' or 'no-one' instead of saying 'I' when you're addressing me. Confused? e.g. "that's why everyone has a problem with confronting you" or "that's why no one can talk to you!" instead of "that's why I have a problem with confronting you" or "that's why I can't talk to you".

Now, if the person saying this shit to me did not know quite a few (most, if not all) of my close friends this wouldn't bother me in the least. I'd just think "rigght, now you can go to hell for being stupid" but as this person DOES know my friends, I'm always left wondering "so who exactly can't deal with me?" or "so do ALL my friends have this problem with me? why doesn't anyone tell me anything?" (apart from me being unconfrontational). My ex constantly did this. Every single argument without fail, this girl would say those all-encompassing words. The subsequent irritation I would experience did nothing to help any feeling of compassion or civility in the situation. Instead it'd just lead to me getting angry and annoyed and wanting very badly to hang up the phone.

I asked some other people what they think about this and how they'd feel in my situation. They all said the same thing: they'd feel that other people, who had no place in the conversation, were being brought into it. The argument was between her and I, not her, I and all of my friends.

so yea.. just wanted to say that.. it's really annoying when people do that and if someone does that to I'd advise you to kick them in the face the very next chance you get.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Your and You're (completed)

what the hell is up with this!? REALLY!? it's one thing to see Americans using this cus they can't spell for shit, but when I see my fellow english (and I mean that in the geographic sense) speaking countrypersons (being politically correct there) using this it annoys me to no end!

YOU'RE and YOUR.. they DO NOT MEAN THE SAME THING!! ok people?
You're means YOU ARE
YOUR is used to indicate ownership. i.e. YOUR bicycle was stolen.
saying 'your gonna get your ass kicked' makes NO SENSE! what that means literally is that the 'gonna' belongs to you. See the nonsense!? and every day I see someone else using this shit.

I blame Americans. They spell so many words incorrectly just for the sake of ease and speed. THEY LAZY!! you mean to tell me you have to spell NIGHT like NITE just cus you doh feel to add one more letter? or is it that you have something against g's and h's?

and now Trinis doing it regularly.. I saw a billboard with Nite on it when I was younger, now I see soooo many people using 'your' incorrectly. Geeze people, our education standard at lower levels supposed to be better than the U.S. don't embarass yourself and your country! your primary school teachers worked hard to instill proper grammar skills and rules in you, don't waste it because of american culture saturation!! turn off the cable and go pick up the Republic Reader series!!

so for the last time (here), DAMMIT MAN STOP USING THE F'IN WORD INCORRECTLY!

I am Hank Moody..

you know, minus the having sex, having sex almost indiscriminately (cus he only picks up hot chicks), the drugs, the daughter and the porsche (though that last one I wish I did have).

Since I started looking at the show (Californiation - shows on Showtime on Sundays) I've observed so many parallels between Mr. Moody and myself, yet I always thought they just crafted his character to be identifiable with a lot of people; it was coincidence based on strategic character development.

but then my best friend told me he thinks I am too, without me saying anything at all, so I figure there must be some truth. If only this were a good thing. I wish I could write like the writers who create Hank's dialogue though.. them's some skilleded ppls.