just cus.. I dunno.. I'm bored and I'm feeling to post something here
Santogold - Creator
G Unit - I like the way she do it (ugh)
Lil Wayne - A Milli
10 years - division album
Duran Duran - Come Undone
Sara Bareilles - Love on the rocks
Paul McCartney - Hope and Deliverance
Annie Lennox - Love song for a vampire
Rick Ross - The Boss
Missy Elliot - Ching a Ling
Rick Ross ft. Flo-Rida - Street Money
Eurythmics - Talk to me like lovers do
Bright Eyes - Lover I don't have to love
Cold - Gone Away
Enigma - Sadness
Enya - Caribbean Blue
Enya - Only Time
Enya - Sail Away
Meredith Brooks - What would happen if we kissed
Plumb - Damaged
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Under the bridge
Seal - Kiss from a rose
Soundgarden - Petty Noose
U2 - Hold me, Thrill me..
Sting - Shape of my heart
The Guffs - Smile
Jem - Just a ride
The Von Bondies - Not that social
and yeepp.. that's about it.
maybe I should get some metal in there to be 'hardcore' lol
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
I'm wondering...
I'm wondering if my view towards things, my thoughts and my feelings pertaining to a specific situation or person is/are boosted by how third parties think I should or do think/feel about said situations/people. I wonder if I'm angrier at a particular situation because the person thinks I'm angry (if I have the right to be) or if I am persuaded to think less seriously about a situation because it's expected that I should.
hmm, I wonder...
maybe I just want to keep anger inside and poison myself slowly.
hmm, I wonder...
maybe I just want to keep anger inside and poison myself slowly.
A place for me
So I went to a party tonight where the majority of people were either white or indian. I felt out of place. Which sucked a good bit. I mean, who likes feeling out of place? not white or indian people, I can tell you that much.
so anyway, back to me feeling out of place. Yes.. I felt out of place. I wanted to wine and get on bad but the truth is I'm just a little too self conscious about that shit to do it *just so just so*, doh mind when I'm actually doing it I'm a big sket.. but that's another story(ies). So at one point I'm standing next to this black (the b should be captial, as I've seen in texts but I'm too lazy to hit *shift*) woman, who worked for the bar and I feel comfortable. I talk to the (black) bartenders and I feel comfortable. Now, the question here is, whether it was the bartenders' skin colour/culture or their occupation that made me feel comfortable with them. I say this because the party I was at was arguably a upper-middle - high class party.
So the Dj is spinnin his shit and I'm enjoying the music, doing the relevant dances once in a while but I never really enjoyed it like I do other times, because..oh right, did I mention? none of my friends were there with me. So I just do my few dances and then mellow with my alternating beer and water. In fact I over-hydrated myself and am now feeling to throw up because I didn't want to have both hands free and I was driving so each new drink could not have contained alcohol.
Back to me feeling out of place; the ironic thing is that if I go to a 'black' place such as a barber shop, black party etc I feel out of place cus I feel like I'm being judged by the colour of my skin. I feel like they're saying 'wtf is going on with this white boy!? how he feel he could get on so like us?! he feel he black or what!? steeeups' and I don't like that feeling either. So it's a lose-lose situation really, once my friends aren't there. Especially one friend who is not only black but also very personable.
btw, did I mention I'm a weee bit tight right now? I guess the alternating with water and beer didn't work as effecitvely as I had planned. Oh well, I'm home safe and that's the important thing.
so I really don't know where I fit.. I went to a club thursday night gone and had a really great time. I was dancing and getting on etc etc and being comfortable.. cus I was around people who were not only getting on like me but also didn't create a sense of 'wtf is that white boy doing' in me. The club was mixed btw. My club/comfort friend wasn't even there, but I was liming with some other black guys who were into the same music etc as I am.
I also realised once I doh have my winin ppls I doh like hearing soca in a club.
Fuck you machel montano.
back on track.. so I guess I'll continue evaluating how I feel while in different social situations to see where I feel I fit best.
P.S. memo to self: don't do tonight again.
live and learn.
so anyway, back to me feeling out of place. Yes.. I felt out of place. I wanted to wine and get on bad but the truth is I'm just a little too self conscious about that shit to do it *just so just so*, doh mind when I'm actually doing it I'm a big sket.. but that's another story(ies). So at one point I'm standing next to this black (the b should be captial, as I've seen in texts but I'm too lazy to hit *shift*) woman, who worked for the bar and I feel comfortable. I talk to the (black) bartenders and I feel comfortable. Now, the question here is, whether it was the bartenders' skin colour/culture or their occupation that made me feel comfortable with them. I say this because the party I was at was arguably a upper-middle - high class party.
So the Dj is spinnin his shit and I'm enjoying the music, doing the relevant dances once in a while but I never really enjoyed it like I do other times, because..oh right, did I mention? none of my friends were there with me. So I just do my few dances and then mellow with my alternating beer and water. In fact I over-hydrated myself and am now feeling to throw up because I didn't want to have both hands free and I was driving so each new drink could not have contained alcohol.
Back to me feeling out of place; the ironic thing is that if I go to a 'black' place such as a barber shop, black party etc I feel out of place cus I feel like I'm being judged by the colour of my skin. I feel like they're saying 'wtf is going on with this white boy!? how he feel he could get on so like us?! he feel he black or what!? steeeups' and I don't like that feeling either. So it's a lose-lose situation really, once my friends aren't there. Especially one friend who is not only black but also very personable.
btw, did I mention I'm a weee bit tight right now? I guess the alternating with water and beer didn't work as effecitvely as I had planned. Oh well, I'm home safe and that's the important thing.
so I really don't know where I fit.. I went to a club thursday night gone and had a really great time. I was dancing and getting on etc etc and being comfortable.. cus I was around people who were not only getting on like me but also didn't create a sense of 'wtf is that white boy doing' in me. The club was mixed btw. My club/comfort friend wasn't even there, but I was liming with some other black guys who were into the same music etc as I am.
I also realised once I doh have my winin ppls I doh like hearing soca in a club.
Fuck you machel montano.
back on track.. so I guess I'll continue evaluating how I feel while in different social situations to see where I feel I fit best.
P.S. memo to self: don't do tonight again.
live and learn.
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