Disclaimer(of sorts): I definitely have my more than fair share of bullshit when it comes to relationships. Make no mistake, I know I am no saint and am far from the perfect current or ex-boyfriend. Thus I write this as a fellow mistake-maker and person with many faults, however I write about what irritates me and this is one of those things.
It's one thing to argue with me about the faults you find in me and what you think I'm stupid for or the dumb things I do. It's another thing, however, to say 'everyone' or 'no-one' instead of saying 'I' when you're addressing me. Confused? e.g. "that's why everyone has a problem with confronting you" or "that's why no one can talk to you!" instead of "that's why I have a problem with confronting you" or "that's why I can't talk to you".
Now, if the person saying this shit to me did not know quite a few (most, if not all) of my close friends this wouldn't bother me in the least. I'd just think "rigght, now you can go to hell for being stupid" but as this person DOES know my friends, I'm always left wondering "so who exactly can't deal with me?" or "so do ALL my friends have this problem with me? why doesn't anyone tell me anything?" (apart from me being unconfrontational). My ex constantly did this. Every single argument without fail, this girl would say those all-encompassing words. The subsequent irritation I would experience did nothing to help any feeling of compassion or civility in the situation. Instead it'd just lead to me getting angry and annoyed and wanting very badly to hang up the phone.
I asked some other people what they think about this and how they'd feel in my situation. They all said the same thing: they'd feel that other people, who had no place in the conversation, were being brought into it. The argument was between her and I, not her, I and all of my friends.
so yea.. just wanted to say that.. it's really annoying when people do that and if someone does that to I'd advise you to kick them in the face the very next chance you get.
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2 comments:
Oh my gosh! I can so relate to this, well not in my relationship cuz my man is perfect heh heh. But this girl recently told me in an irate e-mail: "everyone's saying xyz about you at work" and "everyone says xyz about your writing"...facking 'ell! I was really perturbed because she knows everyone I work with and many of my friends. If it was just her opinion woulda been ok. So I got all paranoid and began to look at everyone at work in a different way.
Then I talked to someone about it and he said that people who do that are usually the type who like nuff kuchur. That they use these kinds of phrases on purpose to freak you out and try to give their own feelings force without directly saying that it's what they think. I've kinda learned to dismiss such tactics I think. In a relationship I think the dynamics may be different. Sometimes you say shit without meaning to hurt. You just gotta communicate though, to be cliche.
ah yes, but with life in general, communication is most always key.
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