Gun Session

I've been thinking about getting a gun. Not over the past 48 hours but for a while now.
Really, I've been playing with the idea off and on since I was 18; really just about what it might be like to have one. Boyhood fantasies aside, it was some serious contemplation taking place.
In recent times I've thought a lot more about going to the firing range and actually learning to shoot. I've also been thinking quite a lot more about actually owning a gun and what that might mean.

It's in my thoughts so much now I'm actually having dreams about and involving guns as a main point of the dream.

I used to believe I was responsible enough to own one. At least to not wave it about the place, showing off as if my dick suddenly grew and gained the ability to detach itself. And not to brag, threaten or otherwise indicate that I had a gun on my person or nearby. I'm still of this mindset, but after the Zen incident the other week I realized 'hmm.. maybe it's a good thing I don't own a gun' as I'm pretty sure I'd have gone back and shot a bouncer square in the chest. This is the more important responsibility to have with gun ownership so it looks like I'll have to think some more about that part.

Jamaica also did nothing to deter me from wanting to procure a firearm. That stereotype about all Jamaicans having guns etc isn't much far from the truth. But then look at how much violence there is and the violent aspect of their culture, so hmm.. coincidence? perhaps not. Still, I am left with the desire to own one. Or at the very least be able to handle one properly if I were faced with the possibility. Two very different things, I know.

Funny thing is, I've never been the victim of a confrontational crime. Sure, I know a few others who have, some being close family even, yet I have remained, for all my 4am driving about and liming, free of any similar situations. So it's not like my desire to own a gun has come from some traumatic experience induced paranoia. (though the ever-present threat of crime is a definite reason). I'm also of the mindset that a GUN inherently is NOT a means of defense. It's an offensive device. Anyone who says they bought a gun to protect themselves is filling you and themselves with shit. Guns are made to shoot and to kill. They don't block bullets, they fire them. As such, the saying that having a gun is an excuse to get shot is also true. At least to my belief. So it's really just that anger thing I should work on with the responsibility aspect of things.
like it's a small thing eh? hmm.

obviously more thought is needed.. in the meantime though I intend to at least join the firearm institute and go shoot a few rounds, see how it feels, see how I feel. See if I'm only accurate in arcade shooting and not in real life. Should be an interesting experience.

N.B. While it's pretty simple to go learn to shoot (you just have to be over 21 and have an ID etc) actually obtaining the license for a firearm is EXTREMELY difficult to do (legally). And since the only way I'm going to get a gun is if I have the license for it (because, although I can get an illegal gun, I won't ever) the chances of me, a non-business owner who is under 25, getting one is extremely narrow.