Toiletiquette

Fact: we all use the toilet. We all do generally the same things on the toilet, albeit through different means sometimes. However I've noticed, through the use of toilets in different friends' homes, that many people can be a little inconsiderate towards the opposite sex when it comes to toilet setting.

Not like it's something that needs to be done, it's just annoying sometimes when I see certain things happen. Thus I come to the point of this post - both sexes can treat the toilet very differently and most times in total disregard to the opposite sex.

the classic male pissing on the seat because they don't want to lift it is well known by now. However women are not the only victims of this act. I'm tired of going to 'drain the snake' in a public toilet only to end up standing in the piss which covers the floor around the base of the toilet. I didn't pay $300 for my Umbros to be soaked in piss, sorry. Try to aim PLEASE! If you're drunk then try NOT to aim and you should end up point blank in the middle of the bowl.

what really inspired this post though, is the following situation that happens in every household dominated by females: the thick toilet covering. Now girls, ladies, women: I know you love to make things pretty, including the toilet. I also understand that you probably have never given much thought to the physics and dynamics surrounding a lifted seat and a thick toilet cover. Hence I hope many ladies read this and learn something: When you cover a toilet with a thick cover the toilet seat cannot be properly lifted against the back. Thus any person equipped with external genitalia faces the annnnnnoying task of holding said genitalia (to aim into the bowl so as not to piss on the toilet, no less) while trying to hold the toilet seat from falling onto said genitalia.

This may sound funny to some but let me tell you.. it's not funny in the least. Men are subjected to an experience of trying to hold their 'littler selves' and their pants with the same hand while trying to hold the seat up (because, if you can't figure it out by now, the thick seat covering pushes the seat off-balance). This especially applies when the men wear underwear that don't have flaps in front for easier access. (fuck you calvin kline and jockey sport, you're no friends of mine)

So ladies, please.. under normal circumstances of course it's cool to have those lovely, soft, thick seat coverings. However, when your male friends are over, please show some consideration and take the covers off or replace them with thinner covers. Or at least do it when I'm over.. cus I have enough consideration not to piss in your sink.

and guys.. when using a female's toilet please remember to put the seat back down when you're finished. For some reason girls find the process of flipping the seat down to be almost too much to bear. I guess they're afraid of breaking a nail or something.. so spare yourself the inevitable bitching that accompanies the having to put the seat down and do it yourselves. I mean you're already the stronger sex so you might as well do it. heh.