The Internet vs. The Possibility of the Internet

No, I haven't abandoned my newly acquired blog. I've been without the net for a few days now (has it REALLY been a few days? or has it merely been a day and a half/two days tops?) and had to borrow a friend's laptop this afternoon before I went crazy and started thinking about cannibalism as a fun and exciting way to pass the time I would otherwise spend hooked up to the world wide web.

Funny thing happened once I was actually online though. (I desist from making a joke here)
I spent about an hour max on the laptop doing the usuals (facebook, islandnoise, facebook, youtube, facebook, facebook, islandnoise, email, facebook) and I realized.. minus the backing up of facebook notifications in my email and those dumb applications people insist on sending me (note: not all are dumb. big up to my vampire/jedi brethren!) (joking.. I pledge allegiance to no side.) I had nothing else to really DO. No work to research, couldn't download anything (which I don't do anymore: buy original cds kids! don't be a pirate. *poses for photo-op with Lars Ulrich*), nothing 'so-cool-you-really-need-to-see-this-immediately!' to see immediately and I'm not much of a porn guy (actually not joking. *loses cred with my 'blues' brothers*). You see my situation?

I thought to myself: THIS is what I missed!? not even a FULL hour spent engrossed in whatever sat before me on the whatever x whatever screen!? (i'm not good with laptop screen dimensions.. it was a Sony Vaio - you do the math).

I pondered this for a bit (because I now had nothing ELSE to do) then came to the conclusion that I didn't actually miss THE INTERNET as much as I missed the POSSIBILITY of the internet. Yes, I did miss the interconnectivity and macociousness of facebook and the random comess and once-in-a-while good thread on islandnoise, but I more missed the possibility that at a moment's notice I could just plop down on my worn out office chair (the thing has seen more ass than Ron Jeremy and Mystery the Pick Up Artist combined.. ok maybe just Ron Jeremy), click on that loveable, little orange firefox logo and become connected.

It wasn't just about the present circumstances. It was about the non-availability of the internet to be at my disposal whenever I wanted. Granted there are far, far better things being done on the net than I have ever and probably will ever do (don't mark my words though), but come on.. there are far, far lesser things being done than I do (don't ask me what though.. www.parishilton.com perhaps?).

Thus, it was the potential for interconnectivity that I was missing; Humans are social beings (don't tell this to my ex-wife though) and with our increasing addiction(obsession?) with all things tech-y and internet-related our need for social interaction grows and grows. (spirals out of control?) What I craved therefore, while sitting in my chair, shifting to the side just a bit so the piece of metal, which the seat padding has been worn down to, wouldn't take my ass-virginity before prison does, trying to find SOMETHING to do on the PC, was the possibility that I could become part of this connectivity at my heart's desire.

It was this knowledge, that I, in fact, could NOT become as such connected that was driving me onwards on my aforementioned quest for something to fill that time. Which, I figure, was really just something to remove that knowledge of my incapability for immediate worldwide connectivity, or something to otherwise occupy my mind. I wanted a new drug, if you will. One that wouldn't let me quit. Or that wouldn't quit on me, exposing me once more to the harsh reality of my isolation from the rest of the world.

but now my net is back, so I'm happy again. yay!